Erica and Pastor Jesse discuss forgiveness in relation to St. Patrick’s story, highlighting Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness, and emphasizing forgiveness as a decision and healing as a process. Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment while trusting in God’s justice. Unforgiveness is a self-imposed prison, while forgiveness brings freedom. Affirming forgiveness aloud helps resist resentment.
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What is Faith Filter? We take what’s on our minds, what’s percolating in our hearts, and what’s happening in the world… and put it through the filter of our faith… everything we believe and what God Word says about it!
Guest: Pastor Jesse from Grace Community Church in Auburn/ Host of the Bonfire podcast on Purposely, AND author of the brand new book, The Power Of The Second Thought, How To Live With Indestructible Hope!
Do you have a question about faith that you’d love Pastor Jesse and Erica to talk about on the radio? Connect with Erica at Mornings@SPIRIT1053.com!
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TRANSCRIPTION:
Erica:
We’re getting ready to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Do you know his story? St. Patrick was a teenager living in England when Irish Raiders came and invaded his family’s estate. They kidnapped him and took him to live as a captive in England for years. And once he finally escaped, it was God who called him to be a missionary to the Irish people to return to the land of his captivity. He’s not even Irish, and I imagine that St. Patrick had to forgive the people who captured him and held him hostage away from everything and everyone who was familiar to him. So you may have already guessed where we’re headed today on Faith Filter. I’m Erica with Pastor Jesse Bradley from Grace Community Church in Auburn, Washington. He’s also the dynamic host of The Bonfire podcast on Purposely. Pastor Jesse. We’re going to dive into the deep end of the pool today if you’re cool with that.
Pastor Jesse:
Let’s go.
Erica:
I’ve been thinking about forgiveness and boy do I identify with one of Jesus’s closest friends, Peter, who said to Jesus, how many times should I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times? And Jesus is like 70 times seven. So, my question for you today, Pastor Jesse, is say you’re forgiving somebody for the 28th time, and this happens, right? What do you do? I mean, how do you forgive them the 29th time without remembering all of the other offenses? That’s what happens to me.
Pastor Jesse:
That’s such a good question, Erica, and such a great conversation between Peter and Jesus that you referred to and Peter’s trying to round up, I think, seven times, like I’ll do it seven? And then Jesus counters with, no, it’s 70 times seven, which is not 490. That’s not like you do it 485 times and you’re almost finished. No, that’s eternity. Forgive everyone fully. And sometimes we have that tension where Jesus, could you lower the bar? Could I be a little less forgiving? And what’s the basis for forgiveness? The basis is not how we feel or what the other person’s done, but we need to shift that basis because God forgives me fully, Yes, it’s a choice to forgive, but it’s also a command. And Jesus tells a parable right after that, but the unmerciful servant, and it’s real clear that we’re to forgive our brothers and sisters from the heart.
Now, forgiveness is a loaded word. So, just to highlight a couple things, forgiveness is a decision right away, but healing is a process. And sometimes you hear, forgive and forget. Well, we can’t really forget it’s there. Also, we don’t want to enable. When someone does something wrong. We’re not saying it’s no big deal or we’re not saying keep doing it. No, that’s not the case. And when we forgive, sometimes there’s consequences. It’s wise to step back and get some distance from certain people. The book of Proverbs tells us that. So forgiveness includes a lot of things that might be counterintuitive, but ultimately forgiveness is getting rid of the resentment, the bitterness, the desire for revenge. God says, revenge is mine and it’s based in this confidence that God has the final say. God’s going to sort out all justice. And there’s other times too where you might need to get help.
If someone’s abusing you, let’s say physically, sexually… the right thing to do is to report it and to get help. It’s not to just keep taking it and taking it. That’s not the picture of Christian forgiveness, that you’re just a doormat. You want to bring in help, protection and accountability in some extreme situations. But overall, when someone repeatedly sins against you, you need to set limits and you need to say, “If you keep choosing to do this, I’m going to choose to step back in the relationship” or so forth. It’s a forgiveness that’s from the heart that’s full. At the same time, there’s some practical shifts that might need to happen.
Erica:
I love everything you just said, and I took all of that in. It’s wonderful. I have always thought of forgiveness as kind of like a medicine. When I was a child, I used to hate taking amoxicillin, the pink liquid goo, and yet I knew Pastor Jesse, if I took it, I was going to feel better. And Jesus knows! He’s asking us to do this because he wants us to feel better. Isn’t that right?
Pastor Jesse:
It’s true because not only do you glorify and honor God when you forgive, think about Jesus’ commitment. We’re coming up on Good Friday, where Jesus died first sins, I mean commitment and forgiveness go together. And Jesus prayed. Forgive them for they know not what they’re doing. He was so committed to forgiveness, even from the cross he was praying and that prayer of forgiveness, the people who are killing him. Now, when you think about forgiveness and unforgiveness… unforgiveness in our lives, it’s been described as being in a prison cell that we have the key, but we don’t open up the door and walk out of. It’s like that poison in your body. And some people think they’re winning by unforgiving. They’re getting revenge, and they’re like, oh, I’m really doing this to the other person. When you don’t forgive, it’s eating you up on the inside. It’s not good spiritually, physically, or emotionally, and there’s such freedom. When you finally forgive, it’s like this huge burden that’s off of your shoulders and that is so important.
There is great freedom with forgiveness. It’s a faith step, because Jesus, you forgave me. I’m going to forgive here. And sometimes I say it out loud, honestly, I didn’t come to know Jesus while I was a young adult. There were people I couldn’t forgive, didn’t forgive. And when Christ forgave me, I chose to forgive them and had such freedom. And whenever I was tempted to go back, and to bitterness and resentment, I would just say out loud, I’ve forgiven them. I forgive them. I forgive them. And just keep affirming that posture because it is tempting to slip back into that old rut. But you say, Nope, I’m going to forgive them and I’m going to trust God with the results.
Erica:
Oh, I love that. Pastor Jesse, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us week after week. You are a blessing.
Pastor Jesse:
Well, I’m just so glad God’s forgive us all our sins so that we can forgive other people. We can take the spec out of our own eye and we will be gracious. We’ll be full of love and truth, but we will be people are for forgiven because a marriage is too great and it’s God’s grace that helps us really forgive well.
Erica:
Oh, amen. Your lips to God’s ears. Thank you so much!
Pastor Jesse:
Thank you. Have a great day.
Erica:
You too.
Pastor Jesse:
Bye.
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