If you’ve ever been the recipient of a well-timed meal drop-off, a hand-written note and some flowers, then you already know how much of a difference it makes when someone (a neighbor, friend or co-worker) just shows up.
Right now, as I type this, I have two friends I’m thinking of who I want to tangibly show up for this week.
Because lets face it, a “let me know if you need anything” text may be well intentioned, but it actually ends up putting all the work on them to figure out what they need and ask for it, which most people won’t do.
Specific offers are much easier to say yes to. I have been talking about this on air and compiling a creative list (feel free to add to it!) to spur us on to loving our neighbor (and sister, and friend, and coworker) well!
My friend Angie is excellent at this… its her Superpower. She can craft the most thoughtful, witty and practical text of love and tangible support on the planet, so I’m going to use her style as an example!
Sample text ideas:
Get specific. Offer something that already works with your schedule.
- “I’m doing a Target run Thursday. Text me your kids back to school list – or better yet, I can take them with me!”
- “I’m coming by Saturday to take your trash cans out and grab your mail. Don’t need to talk, I’ll just do it.”
- “I need to get my steps in today! Want me to walk the dog this week? I can do 7am or 6pm, whichever’s easier.”
Give a narrow window instead of open-ended time
- “I have Tuesday 2-4pm totally free. Want me to sit with you, drive you somewhere, or just be on standby?”
- “I’m free all day Sunday. Can I take a shift — kids, laundry, dishes, whatever’s piling up?”
Offer something logistical people forget to ask for
- “Do you want me to handle telling people, so you’re not repeating the story over and over?”
- “Want me to sit in on the follow-up appointment and take notes? Extra ears are useful for that stuff.”
- “I can pick up your prescriptions today… just tell me the pharmacy.”
For grief specifically, offer presence without pressure
- “I’m not going to ask how you’re doing. I’m just going to come sit with you Wednesday if that’s okay — no talking required.”
- “I’ll come mow the lawn / walk the dog / do a grocery run this week, no need to reply, I’ll just show up unless you tell me not to.”
- “Thinking about you today. I’m around all evening if you want company or silence.”
When they’re overwhelmed and can’t even triage
- “Text me one thing that’s stressing you out right now, even something small — I’ll take it off your plate.”
- “I know decision-making feels impossible right now. I’m going to pick a day to come clean/organize/whatever — Thursday work?”
The common thread: propose something concrete, give them an easy yes/no or multiple choice, and make it low-effort for them to accept — not “what do you need,” which is its own homework assignment.
Do you know someone who exemplifies doing this?
Catch hope & encouragement on Middays with Sarah Taylor, between 10am – 2pm!
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