Erica and Pastor Jesse discuss how to maintain peace during Thanksgiving gatherings, especially when there may be disagreements or tension among family members.
Click PLAY to find practical ways to find common ground.
Guest: Pastor Jesse from Grace Community Church in Auburn / Host of the brand-new Bonfire Podcast on Purposely, and author of the brand new book, The Power Of The Second Thought, How To Live With Indestructible Hope!
Do you have a question about faith that you’d love Pastor Jesse and Erica to talk about on the radio? Connect with Erica at Mornings@SPIRIT1053.com!
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TRANSCRIPTION:
Erica:
We won’t be talking turkey today, but we will be talking about how to keep the peace while the turkey is on your table, while the leftovers are in your fridge… It’s Faith Filter with Pastor Jesse and what we aim to do every week is to put everything that’s happening in the world and on our calendars through the filter of everything you and I know to be true. Everything we believe. Pastor Jesse, welcome and happy Thanksgiving week.
Pastor Jesse:
Thank you so much. We have so much to be grateful for and it’s great to slow down to take inventory. Thank God for all the blessings. And yes, we plan to have some friends over, including an international student.
Erica:
Wow, that’s cool. From what country?
Pastor Jesse:
Myanmar.
Erica:
Wow. I love that you guys have a special guest at your table. That’s going to be extra fun and I’m sure he’s going to be, or she going to be trying some different foods.
Pastor Jesse:
That’s right. It’s a cultural experience, but more importantly, when we open up our homes, take some relationship risks and we love to do it every year at Thanksgiving, but just go deeper with some people. We appreciate and it’s a great time. Our kids have fun too.
Erica:
Oh, you and your family just rock. I love that so much. Well, Pastor Jesse, so many of us are going to be gathering around the dining room table with the people we love and who, let’s face it, let’s get real, some of whom get on our nerves. Maybe we don’t agree about politics or we have different beliefs in life, and I know I want to be a peacemaker at the table. So how do you do it? What’s a practical way to keep the peace?
Pastor Jesse:
That’s so realistic. Because for some people it’s awesome getting together. At Thanksgiving you might take a risk and say the prayer before the meal or just share appreciation for each person. Thank God for your blessings. Enjoy the food, have an awesome time. And yet for other people you’re just thinking, how is this going to play out? How am I going to respond? What’s this going to look like? And really praying ahead of time for your own reactions that you’re in the spirit, not the flesh, but practically. You might need to set some limits on certain topics. Redirect the conversation. It’s always fine to say the Seahawks are getting some big wins these days when things are going downhill. Deescalate. Find some common ground that you agree upon and whether it’s Thanksgiving or it’s a different setting, if you sense there’s tension, if things are difficult… Overall I’d say just keep it kind and simple. If it’s not the healthiest relationship, keep it kind. Keep it simple. Don’t carry resentment, bitterness. Don’t stoop to the other person’s level or repeat what you don’t like and you know God’s going to help you. He’s going to be there with you.
Erica:
Absolutely. And if worse comes to worse, you can always say, pass the potatoes please, because I say carbs solve all sorts of problems, don’t you think?
Pastor Jesse:
That’s right. Comfort foods are outstanding and thinking through family dynamics. If it’s the in-laws, let’s say it’s a bigger family gathering. If it’s your family, be careful not to be in denial. Just thank your spouse, right? Just thank your spouse for enduring some of that. And also, be the point person if there’s issues that come up and you need to follow up or talk through something, be the point person with your own family versus putting the pressure on your spouse to then be right in the middle of all that. I think it just goes smoother that way.
Erica:
Smooth as lump free gravy. Alright, I want to talk a little bit about grace, pastor Jesse, because I love something you said earlier about take a risk and say a prayer over the meal. I know somebody might be inviting people over who don’t believe in Jesus, and this is a beautiful way to express your faith. I think most people are fairly comfortable with saying a little prayer. So, what might that look like, pastor Jesse? For somebody that would like to do that this Thanksgiving,
Pastor Jesse:
It’s an incredible opportunity because we know that God is the source of all blessings. And when someone provides so much for you, when God is so faithful, so good. With that, Thanksgiving fits, right? Thanksgiving is healthy, there’s an appreciation. Our culture for gratitude and prayer might be new for some people. I grew up in a family where kind of like Baskin Robbins, 31 flavors spiritually and a little bit of everything. So, I never know when getting dealing with family, is this a time I should start with a prayer or not? And one thing to be honest that encouraged me along that journey over the years is that everyone has appreciated it. And now it’s just become a given. And people who don’t follow Jesus will say, well, Jesse, do you want to say the prayer? And that’s just how we roll. So, what might feel awkward the first year suddenly becomes a tradition and across the culture, people like being prayed for.
They really appreciate that. And if it’s just humble, sincere. You don’t need to do a 10 minute sermon in your prayer. You don’t need to wax eloquent theologically, but it might just open up the door for some conversations. And also gratitude list. Just going around and sharing what are you thankful for? And let each person share in our family too. It’s like, well, what do you appreciate about the different people? And we share that the affirmation. So prayer, affirmation, gratitude list that can open up a door where you share your faith. And yes, it’s good to let people know that the God of hope is with us, the provider, the protector. He is good. And share not just what you believe, but share your story as the Lord leads and doors open. But prayer will be that first step. And when you do that, it just changes the mood in the room. If there’s a lot of tension, it can just calm everybody down.
Erica:
It’s so true. Just don’t make it a gravy chiller. Are you with me?
Pastor Jesse:
Yes, that’s it. There’s enough movies about prayer that goes the wrong way. There’s comedies you can look up and don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t have to be extra spiritual, but they’re going to lean in, listen in. And God is honored through prayer and yes, it’s totally fitting and in our nation, right throughout this Thanksgiving time. I mean this is a time in so many different settings where people are thanking God and it’s your house, right? You had ’em over to your house! Your house rules. No, I’m just playing. But people are going to appreciate it. They really are. It’s a good risk to take.
Erica:
Oh, Pastor Jesse, so grateful for you. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your amazing family.
Pastor Jesse:
Thank you. We’re so grateful for Jesus. We’re thankful for 105.3. And Erica, thanks for all you do to encourage people and build ’em up.
Erica:
Oh, thank you. God bless you my friend. So appreciate you.
Pastor Jesse:
Excellent. Take care.
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