Hey, we’ll keep talking about this a little bit, but we had Casey ask, what should I look for in a man? I actually made a very small list for the small but powerful. Thank you. It is the first couple things I put on there. Number one, you look for a guy who takes responsibility. He’s, he doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t run away from his own mistakes. He doesn’t see himself as a victim. This, to me, is the essence of masculinity. And there’s a word for a guy who will not take responsibility, and that word, that word is child. That’s not the guy you want. You want a guy who takes responsibility.
Second thing, he’s willing to practice self denial, and that can be shown in a lot of ways. Like he can work a job that he doesn’t like. He doesn’t find reasons to quit. He has to have an excuse to quit. He can actually do it. He shows discipline with his money, or how about this? This is another way to show this self denial thing, he actually listens to people even when they’re not talking about something he enjoys. He’s actually a listener.
Here’s another one. He doesn’t respond in anger. Some men think that acting in anger is actually a mark of manliness, but the opposite is true. What’s actually manly? Self-control, perspective, and forgiveness. That’s how you show strength. It’s not by getting angry and acting out, you’re anger. It’s the exact opposite. It’s being protective and reliable, trustworthy, and an angry person isn’t trustworthy. Another thing, and this is big, I would say this, Casey, watch for a guy who gives attention, respect, and kindness to non attractive females. And a related question, how does he treat people who can do nothing for him if he tends to ignore or he mocks them? You are very possibly dealing with a narcissist, and in that case, you should run away as fast as you possibly can. You do not want to be married to a narcissist.
One last one is this. Look for a guy whose instinct is to protect, not hurt. She said, I want to find a godly man. Well, God is a protector. He’s a champion of widows. He’s a father to the fatherless. He’s a defender of orphans. It says all this in the Bible. Well, if you’re looking for a guy like that, you’re going to find a guy who protects. That’s how he rolls. He doesn’t take advantage of you when you’re weak. When he encounters the vulnerable, he doesn’t make fun of them. He defends them and befriends them even when no one’s looking. And by the way, one last thing too I would add to this list that we’ve been talking about, just because a guy is what I call church impressive, meaning he can be on stage, maybe he plays guitar or he seems like he really emotes when he worships or he’s a good speaker, he talks a good game… That’s all nifty and stuff, but that has nothing to do with being a good husband, nothing. So don’t be taken by somebody who, in public or on a stage, acts a certain way. That’s the easiest thing in the world to do. And guys actually know that women like that stuff. I mean, they’re quite aware that that’s, that’s a big thing for you. So don’t be impressed. The stuff behind the scenes, how do they treat people who cannot do anything for them? There’s your godly man.
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