Parenting Strategy: By the Seat of My Pants

f you’ve read much of the stuff I’ve written, you know I talk about being intentional.  A lot.

I believe in living life with intention.  Prioritizing my marriage with intention.  Managing finances with intention. 

Parenting with intention.

I write both here and on my personal blog about living life intentionally, planfully, and purposefully.

It’s kind of my theme.

So last week, when someone asked my husband and I about our parenting strategy, I surprised myself with my response.

That response would best be summed up as deer in the headlights.

I realized that we didn’t have one.

We had never, ever talked about the big picture.  We’ve talked about the dreams we have for our children, and the kind of people we hope they’ll become, and our hopes for their futures.

And in the day-to-day, we parent pretty well as a team.  We tackle tough issues together, support one another in decision-making, and deal with difficult moments in an intentional manner. 

But as far as actually having an over-arching plan or strategy for raising these little people in our home, it’s mostly just deal with the issue at hand and hope for the best over the long haul.

So after this eye-opening experience, I decided we needed one.  And I did what any good mother would do.

I Googled “What’s a good parenting strategy?

{Not helpful.}

So now I’m entrenched in the world of parenting strategies and trying to find one that works for my family.  Because while the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants method has worked fine for the past five years, I’m pretty sure it will catch up with us.  If not soon, then in those teenage years I’ve heard about.

So now I’m curious – do you have a parenting strategy?  An honest-to-goodness, we’ve read this book and discussed it and are wholeheartedly on the same page about following it parenting strategy?  When did you start using it, and more importantly – WHAT IS IT?

Or maybe you’re like me and are living it moment by moment.

Or you thought you had one like I did, but I just busted that bubble.

I want to hear from everyone.  What’s your parenting strategy?  I need all the help I can get.

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  1. Valerie Grissom posted on 07/24/2014 12:29 AM
    Kristina, by no means do I have my "plan" totally figured out, but last year, my husband and I (and later our whole small group from church) went through "Effective Parenting in a Defective World" by Chip Ingram (Book and DVD), and I would say it was pretty life-changing for us and our children. Excellent.
    1. Kristina Slaney posted on 07/24/2014 06:40 PM
      @Valerie Grissom Oooh...never heard of that one! Thank you for sharing, I'll have to check it out!
  2. Jennifer Church posted on 07/28/2014 03:54 PM
    We started with a strategy. And it worked for us.....when they were little. But we still give the same advice (when asked) to prospective parents: get on the same page. Doesn't matter what page it is, just AGREE. And let the kids know you agree, because if they think for one second you DON'T, it's all over! Now that our kids are all teens (or almost teens) we have very different challenges. When they were little it was very easy to control their world and to keep evil at bay. But now, it's all out war against a very strong enemy who wants our childrens' souls. I have been told by so many that prayer is the best weapon. But I would say the second best is knowing your spouse has your back and you have his and that you are in this together.
    1. Kristina Slaney posted on 07/29/2014 07:58 PM
      @Jennifer Church Great advice! We parent pretty well together and don't undermine the other spouse's parenting decisions, but I guess my personality wants us to have a strategy that will give us a map to address ALL POSSIBLE PARENTING SCENARIOS. I'm starting to think maybe that's a little unreasonable? :) The team approach it is!
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