Building Relationship with Our Daughters


Last year, I was able to bring my ten year old daughter, Ava, to Secret Keeper Girl Live, at our church.  We walked in and I thought, "THIS is how Mom's and daughters party."  The entire room was exploding with giddy tweens and smiling moms, and this was "girls night out" at it's finest.  We found our seats and loud dance tunes began rolling across the group.  They got us all up on our feet, dancing together and jumping all over the place.  I kept thinking how fun it was to see all of these moms just letting loose in a positive way with their daughters and I loved it.

When the speakers came out, they made it so enjoyable for not only the moms listening, but for our young daughters. They spoke about being a "Secret Keeper Girl" and what that meant.  They explained modesty and why it mattered, and as soon as they were finished with video clips and singing, we got to enjoy the cutest fashion show.  There were young ladies modeling modest clothing for all styles, sizes and shapes. That was the the main thing my daughter remembered.  Since attending Secret Keeper Girl, I've watched my daughter Ava flip tank tops backward, layer clothing, turn nearly too-short dresses into tunics, and pair leggings with skirts. I've loved seeing her absorb the importance of being a modest girl and put it into action.  I've been able to have conversations about skirts that she's outgrowing so quickly and why we need to pack those away.  Because of Secret Keeper Girl, I've watched as Ava has observed some of the outfits being worn at school and made her own choices to be a leader in modesty.  I have cheered her on as she spent her own money on cute and modest outfits.  As she grows and changes, we talk about purity more and more, and it's been so easy to connect how purity flows from a heart of modesty first, because the heart issue is wanting to obey the Lord with our bodies. 

As a mom, I think the biggest thing I took away from SKG, was the idea that Ava will first look to me.  My example will speak volumes louder than my word and I want my clothing to be modest and set a good example for her to follow for years to come.  As moms we all need those reminders.  I also think that this has bonded my daughter and I in a unique way.  It's like we're in a secret club together, and we're doing out best to become the women God wants us to be, side by side.  I've loved the discussions we've had since attending Secret Keeper Girl last year and I can't wait to see what she takes away from it this year and how that will continue to deepen our relationship.  I am so very thankful for this program and the messages they are helping me deliver to my daughter about purity and modesty.  As moms, we sure can use all the help we can get in today's culture, can't we?

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