Can you die from lack of cupcakes?

I understand that China gives each year an animal symbol.  The animals are supposed to describe a person’s personality according to what year they were born.  I have no idea what mine is, but I’m sure it’s something adorable, like a koala.  Anyway, I have my own names and symbols for 2014:

The Year of the Nasty Flu Bugs.  The Year of the Tissues!  Or, my favorite: The Year of Apparently-I-Am-Never-Getting-Out-of-This-Bed-Ever-Again. 

It all began right before Christmas.  My darling grandkids (who will henceforth be known as “the germ-buckets”) had colds.  No big deal, UNTIL Jerry and I caught the same bug.  While the little ones seemed to breeze through theirs with grace and humor, we turned into sniffling, sniveling piles of misery. 

At the tail end of that, we got the stomach flu.  Because that’s always fun.  And, when another cold/flu bug hit a week later I was incredulous.  Shouldn’t I have enough immunity to fight off even the plague by now?  Apparently not.  Eye infections followed and then hospital time for lung issues.

I am now in what I call the Eeyore phase:  “Woe is me, I’ll never feel good again, might as well go back to bed, for the rest of my life.”  (I find that catastrophic thinking helps everything).   

In an effort to get healthy again, I have decided to do a no dairy, no wheat, no meat, no sweeteners, and no coffee or tea diet (I’m using The Daniel Fast as my inspiration). Those of you who know me, know that I love sweets and pastries and coffees and ice cream and ...  So, this is really a stretch for me.

So far I have gone to coffee shops with the kids and ordered nothing.  I have gone to a sandwich shop that smelled of freshly baked bread and had a SALAD.  I bought tofu.  On purpose! 

 

Last night, I was so desperate for a treat that I made sugarless, flourless, eggless cookies. 

They taste like hockey pucks. I was ready to quit.  This is too hard!  I can’t do it!  I’ve been good for long enough.  My health has probably already turned around.  I think I feel better. 

How long has it been, you ask?  A day.  One long, glorious, excruciating day.  Remember the whole random/abstract thing?  Yeah, discipline is not one of my personality traits.  So, ladies, if you have any advice or any recipes for yummy food that contains nothing yummy at all, then please pass them on to me.  I need all the help I can get.