Parenting Is Not a Competition...But Am I Winning?

My son didn’t walk until he was 14 months old. I recall looking at the parenting app on my phone and receiving emails from Baby Center about “your child’s milestones” and realizing that perhaps my son was behind the curve. For a first time mom, this can be a bit concerning. My son was born at barely 36 weeks and when other babies the same age as him had started walking, I recall literally saying, “Well, he was born a month early!” As though there was actually some competition happening and I would gain extra points for adding an explanation.

My daughter is now 11 months and it turns out she isn’t going to win me the “prize” of youngest walker of the century either. I am much more relaxed about these things the second time around. As it turns out your kid could walk at 9 months or 16 months and it basically means nothing. First time moms remember this!

I am blessed with a wonderful group of mommy friends. We use each other for support from a safe place to talk about marriage stressors to tips on how to get our three year olds to bed without needing 10 books and 5 trips to the bathroom.

I love each of these women and never feel an ounce of competition between us.

Okay I do.

This is only natural, right?!  We, like any group of women, each have our own strengths. There is the crafty mom, the mom who is literally always put together, the Cross Fit mom...ok none of these are my claim to fame in the group I will admit. I am perhaps the “puts her kids in the gym childcare after already being gone from them all day” mom or the “lets her husband do all the cooking” mom.  Yes, when it comes to working out and not cooking for my family, I am winning.

There are times when I have thoughts that I should try to be more like some of my friends because then I would be a better rounded mom and wife. This simply is not true. If I attempted to be the crafty mom, for example, I would end up lost in Michaels in tears with $100 less in my account because I would have no idea what I am doing. It is not my strength. I would lose that competition.  

Why do we do this to ourselves?! Being a mom is enough pressure as it is. The last thing we need is to compare ourselves to the random mom at the park that did not forget her diaper bag and a snack for the kids. Don’t even tell me you have never been the one stranded at the mall with a poopy newborn and the discovery that you have your diaper bag but no diapers. Yes, that has happened to me.  Perhaps I can now add “the resourceful mom” into my list of talents.

What I have to remember is that there is no score being kept or winners. We are all in this together and we each bring our own individual strengths into this craziness of mommy-hood. I am glad to be on this journey with each of you! Let's stop trying to compete and instead build each other up with support.

 What are some of the ways you have compared yourself to other moms?

Have you ever been “that mom” in a situation where you feel like other moms are “winning?”

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  1. Kristina Slaney posted on 06/19/2014 11:38 AM
    So, basically, this is my new fave post! Who cares about walking anyway - seasoned mamas know that the longer they wait, the better... because once they start it's a whole lot more work! :)
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