Daddy Isn't Safe

There's tons of research about how valuable a daddy is in a child's life.  I won't bore you with statistics, I'll just tell you why my son is so lucky.

Because his daddy lets him do stuff.

A few months back, as we were trying to figure out how to spend some of Conlan's leftover birthday money, my husband made a profound realization.  I was shopping for books, games, puzzles, and art supplies.  He was shopping for t-ball sets and basketball hoops.  "That's the difference between you and me.  You want to buy things for his brain.  I want him to go outside and play sports."

It goes beyond that, though.  I want to buy things for his brain, yes.  But I also want him to do safe things.  The worst he can do with a new book is get a paper cut.

And that is where daddy comes in.  They mow the lawn together.  They climb things.  They go to Lowe's (sometimes two or three times a week).  They garden.  They rebuilt the fence.  They fix things.  They even chopped down a tree in our front yard.

And though my husband has to endure my irrational warnings ("Please don't run over his feet with the lawn mower and chop his toes off!") I am still grateful that he gets to do all this stuff that I wouldn't ever teach him.  I love it when Conlan runs in the back door, breathlessly pleading, "Mommy, I need my tools!" and then dashes proudly back outside to help his daddy. 

In fact, he's still talking about chopping down that tree.  "But my saw didn't work so good."

So here's a thank you to my boy's wonderful daddy.  The one that lets him learn stuff, climb stuff, fix stuff, get dirty, and even get those bumps and bruises that little boys need.  Our son is very lucky to have you, and is sure to grow up to be a good man.

Just like his daddy.

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  1. Karen posted on 06/11/2014 12:18 PM
    Great article but poor title
    1. Kelli posted on 06/11/2014 12:35 PM
      @Karen I agree, I almost didn't read it because of the title.
  2. linda posted on 06/28/2014 07:49 PM
    there may be tons research on how important a daddy is but that research is probably done on kids with daddy who aren't broken and know how to treat their kids with respect and love. In my life, I have 3 sons, my older sons ages 23 and 18 are broken men. With God's help and Men of faith happy marriages where they treat their wives with respect and support, my youngest son who is 10 will learn how to be a man of God and treat women with respect and support.
    1. Kristina Slaney posted on 07/04/2014 07:30 AM
      @linda This is a really good point. And you're right - it's not without God's help that we raise our boys. We have to walk through this whole parenting thing clothed in a whole lot of grace, don't we???
  3. Grandma L. Leora posted on 07/09/2014 06:27 PM
    I had a good father too. He died when I was 12 years old.
    Your son is blessed in many ways. All the pictures of him and his daddy will be a treasure in his years to come. Protect them.
    Your son is also blessed to have a mommy who understands the importance of his father's influence. I'm afraid I was so busy protecting my children from a father who wasn't as gifted at parenting as my father that I discouraged my husband. He was only 19 when our first child was born, so he and I both had a lot to learn and no one to teach us then. He eventually gave up fighting me about the children. I still need to remind myself not to criticize him about his relationship to his adult children. It is and isn't a joke when I tell my friend that if I can't handle stressful issues concerning my husband, what makes me think I'll be able to be victorious in faith when someone lops off my head. As I try to encourage the best in him it is important to remember that it is a hard fact of life that the only one I can change is myself. I once heard an analogy that a family is like a mobile and when we are the best we can be we affect the movement of the entire mobile for the better. When my children were not being treated in a nurturing way it was hard to see the Lord alone as my source. It was difficult to believe the word that tells me God provides everything we need for our spiritual growth. When I grew bitter toward him I contributed to our family's ill being. I'm so thankful that God is bigger than we are. By beginning to learn to forgive myself and my husband of our past and present failures, (even when my adult children are not being treated with the love and attention I believe they still need) I give place for the Kingdom of Heaven to repair our lives. I now speak from a little bit of spiritual growth.
    1. Kristina Slaney posted on 07/09/2014 09:35 PM
      @Grandma L. Leora What sweet, kind words that my heart needed this evening, thank you. And thank you for sharing your wisdom. It is so, so hard to let go and trust that our children are being carried - even when we know it is by their perfect heavenly Father - and those feelings of (imagined) control are so powerful! Thank you for sharing your story and your journey. It is heartbreaking that you lost your father so young, but I'm glad your memories of him are so strong and sweet.
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