Summer 2015 was a weird one for me. It was filled with lessons and growth which led to very frustrating freedom. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Well, let me explain – for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed being in my own skin this past summer and it was awesome! I’ve had had a long, long journey (which I am still on) in learning to love how I was fashioned and formed by God. I have had to learn to accept that I have a naturally bigger framework and curves in what I think are peculiar places. One of my biggest insecurities comes from having grown so quickly when I was a child. When I was born, doctors told my parents I would be in the 90th percentile of height, weight, and growth for kids my age. The result of growing too fast for my skin? Stretch marks – and I have always hated them! I never wore anything that would show my skin, including shirts with sleeves higher than your typical t-shirt sleeve length because of my marks. But it was hard to be a part of our campaign and the lessons we were teaching without hearing The Spirit speaking to my heart about my body insecurities. The Lord worked on my heart and eyes and helped me to start seeing what He saw in me, and helped me become comfortable with all the things that make me me, including my stretch marks.
With my new found comfortableness in ‘this is me, my body, and I love it’ and my always increasing confidence thanks to working out (oh yeah, endorphins!), I was ready to venture into new fashion territory… (read as “things that showed off just a little bit of skin”). Only I couldn’t in good conscience. Freedom immediately followed by frustration!
On the one hand I knew God was healing my view of myself. He was giving me confidence. So why couldn’t I wear what I wanted to wear? If I’m proud of my body now and thankful for what He’s done in it and with it, what’s the big deal with wearing certain things?’ Can you relate? Frustrating freedom is what I felt and to be honest, The Spirit and I battled with this for a few weeks as both my flesh and my spirit were in it to win it. Have you ever been here? What would you do? What have you done?
For me, the Lord made it very simple. Not easy but simple. I have an immediate authority over me in the form of my job and bosses. How could I wear something that I get on stage and encourage girls every single night not to wear. God told me this: I can’t rebel against the authority that He’s placed over my life without rebelling against Him. It just doesn’t work that way. We can’t pick and choose the ways in which we obey God. Either we obey fully or we don’t at all.
But what if I didn’t work for Secret Keeper Girl? What if the school doesn’t have a dress code? What if friends and family around you are shouting ‘there is freedom in Christ!’? Well, yeah there most definitely is. But God took things a bit further for me and I remembered a concept that Secret Keeper Girl co-creator Dannah Gresh discussed in our Mother/Daughter ‘Moonwalking’ Date. [BTW: Moms, truth is truth and applicable for us no matter what our age or situation. I don’t even have kids, yet God is always teaching me something from the resources we make available for you and your daughters. I hope you too are taking advantage.] The moonwalking date was not a contest to see who could do the best Michael Jackson impersonation (which would be awesome) but rather about ‘glory’. Who or what am I glorifying when I wear or don’t wear certain things? This was a hard question to swallow and it was kind of tricky for my mind to wrap itself around because I just wanted to celebrate and bask in my confidence and how great I was feeling as I took care of the body GOD had blessed me with!
Sounds like something a good Christian girl would think and want to do, right?
Oh my friends, so many of us get tripped up in this! Being good for goodness sake or so others will think you are a good Christian means nothing to the Lord. Being good, yeah it looks great on the outside – we say the right things, wear the right things, go to the right places. But may The Spirit always remind us that God is not interested in goodness. His heart’s desire is that we be holy. Holiness, because it is about the heart and a person’s motivations, always takes things a bit further. Pursuing His holiness means acting solely in the interest of only one person – Jesus Christ. Period. See, on the surface it sounded like I wanted to give God a shout-out as I chose certain clothes, but beneath, I wanted to be seen. I wanted to show off my hard work. I wanted to show how much I had grown. There was a deeper lesson for me to learn and God wanted me not only to understand that lesson but live and act differently as a result. God does things in and through my body not for me but for Him. Always! He’s concerned about His glory and His name. And the only way to truly please Him is to get on board with His agenda. It’s not about us. Even down to what we do or even do not wear – it’s never about us. And let me tell you, any frustration that comes along with living with His glory in mind (because it does come!) is totally worth the gifts of joy, freedom, and intimacy with Him He gives as blessings for obeying Him.
So the next time your daughter wants to wear something or do something, even if the reasoning seems good, ask the Holy Spirit to take your mind and heart deeper into holiness. Ask your daughter if what she is thinking about wearing is going to show off God or herself? We believe that is God’s heart concerning modesty and we desire to follow His line of thinking. Also remember that it’s important to pursue complete holiness in the motivations of our hearts. What are your (or your daughter’s) motivations for not wearing certain things? Is it so God will be honored or so you’ll be seen as a “good Christian girl (or woman)”? You see, it goes both ways and the issue is always where is your heart because either you’re for God’s glory or against it. It’s plain and simple – not easy, but simple.
Share below – Have you ever been frustrated with being modest? How did you handle it?
Does your daughter know that she is a masterpiece created by God? Will she believe it in a few years, or will she succumb to the photoshop lies of culture? Secret Keeper Girl’s Purple Party Tour invites moms and daughters to think and act differently. Through worship, fun bible teaching and memorable stories, tween girls will be told unequivocally that they are each a masterpiece created by God. Secret Keeper Girl: The Purple Party Tour is coming to a town near you!
Friday, October 14th
Eastridge Church in Issaquah
Saturday, October 15th
Gateway Fellowship in Poulsbo